I got God’s Heart

I’ve been going through a weird time this past weekend. I’ve been kind of hyper-active and crazy. I’ll go way up and come crashing way down. So what’s going on? I have no idea. It feels almost like a rut, but it is not debilitating me. Normally I would get into a rut and crash and burn, but this is different. God’s love surrounds everything. All the up and downs of my life are covered by the grace of God. I’m covered, I’m really covered. I’ve been finding that I’m in love with God and it’s not just words people. It’s like infatuation. All of a sudden I’ll be sitting in the car and I’ll be like, “I love you, God. I just love you. I love you ….” God’s love goes through me and shoots right back up at him. My favorite song right now is ”Everything Glorious.” It’s like the perfect song. God made me glorious, he really did, and that’s how he sees me. It just makes my heart want to burst.

 

Lately, I’ve been thinking about something Lucrece told me awhile back. She told me that she saw Jesus come and take my heart out of my body and replace it with his. WOW. God gave me his heart. How does he know that he can trust me with it? I wouldn’t trust myself with it. A heart is such a fragile thing. It’s a treasure and it should be handled gently. I feel so honored to be trusted with the heart of God. What’s really amazing about it is that it was exactly what I needed to begin to trust God.

It’s like having a friend who’s closed off. The only way for you to get them to talk is to talk yourself. Openess is the key to a good relationship. My heart has been battered. I’ve given my heart away so many times only to recieve it back bloody and ripped to shreds. How could I know that God was going to be different? My picture of God was a reflection of my father. Not good, but no one could really tell me otherwise.

  

But God gave me his heart. God gave me his heart. He said, “Alyssa, I trust you and I want to give you all of me.” Because God trusted me I began to trust him. Now that I can trust God live is a lot less stressful. Can you imagine. I love it. My heart is being loved for the first time by my father, God. It’s exactly what I need. So I can’t help but sing his praise and smile at him and tell him how much I love him. Joy is mine.  

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